What Schools Look for in a Personal Statement
by Chino Baluyut

Private high school applications are underway. A significant part of this process is for prospective students to answer an essay prompt and write a thoughtful 250 to 500-word “personal statement.”

What do admissions officers look for when they peruse thousands of essays? I interviewed admissions directors from Bay Area private schools, and here are the top five qualities that they seek.

1) Unique Voice and Creativity

The personal statement should be, as its label indicates, a narrative written by a specific individual.  As such, admissions directors want to read about unique experiences that give an insight into an applicant’s character. A representative from Lick Wilmerding says that each essay should reflect one’s personality and individuality. Memorable essays, according to the admissions director of Sacred Heart Atherton, leave an indelible mark. She gave an example of how a student wrote that the mirror is an invention that the world would be better off without. Why? So that people would care less about their personal appearances.

2) Daring and Curiosity

Admissions officers love kids who are risk-takers. They find this quality by looking at a child’s interests outside of school.  According to an admissions officer from Drew School, essays that reflect a teenager’s willingness to try new things – hobbies, passions, entrepreneurial pursuits – is a huge plus. In fact, schools such as Urban encourage its applicants not to disregard any of their previous endeavors, even if the activity is deemed unpopular. Worked as a lifeguard or referee this summer? Built a hydroponics system in your backyard? School administrators would rather read about those topics instead of the usual baseball and soccer experiences.

3) Thoroughness

Not to be ignored, of course, is thorough essay formatting.  Saint Ignatius College Prep’s admissions officers keep a close watch on each essay’s word count and avoidable errors. In addition, a meticulous spelling check and grammar edit show that an applicant has prioritized this essay.  University High School’s director of admissions always recommends spending ample time on applications and avoiding procrastination.

4) Collaboration

Schools such as Nueva place a premium on a student’s ability to work in a group setting. As more high school classes stress on collaboration, teachers want students who are team players. What better way to showcase this than by writing about a beach cleanup or a tough rugby match.

5) Authenticity

Finally, schools want to see the actual student on paper.  Because applicants are asked to write essays on the spot during the SSAT and ISEE, admission directors can detect whether a third party prepared an applicant’s personal statement.  Crystal Springs Uplands, for example, regards authenticity and consistency in writing as crucial for admission into their institution. Minor edits and cosmetic changes from adults are fine, according to an admissions officer from University High School, but changes to content and sentence structure will be detectable.

These are the top five qualities that schools look for when reading a personal statement. Though this may be a tall order, the best advice I have heard is simply to allow an applicant to focus on one’s passions.  This way, the young writer will care enough about his or her essay to make it truly matter.